Communication...
Doubles The Love

If you learn and use this simple technique, you'll be on your way to strengthening the relationships with your most important people.

And what's more, you'll feel peace, joy and greater connection.

 

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The general rule that applies here when you want to connect with your most important people is to think...Double-The-Love.

 

L-L
Let your face light up 
When you see them, let your face light up...
 
From your heart.
 
All the way to your eyes.
 
Learn to listen longer. 
What's another word you can spell with the letters in the word listen that is an absolute requirement for actual listening?  
 
Yep S-I-L-E-N-T.  
 
Too many times we listen while we're putting together in our mind what our response will be.  
 
It's so much more effective to listen to what's not being said.  
 
My daughter gave me a necklace for Christmas with such a beautiful saying, "A mother understands what a child does not say."
 
I try to remember that while I'm listening.
 
O-O
Observe. 
My definition of observe is to study, learn and do.  
 
Keep in mind, knowledge is not power.  
 
It is potential power.  
 
What we do with the knowledge is where the power happens.  
 
So HALT  to Observe.  
 
H - Are they hungry?
 
It's gonna affect their behavior.
 
A - Are they angry?
 
It's gonna affect their behavior.
 
L - Are they lonely?
 
It's gonna affect their behavior.
 
T - Are they tired?
 
It's gonna affect their behavior.
 
Keep in mind the same applies to each of us.  
 
Even you.
 
Even me.
 
We may be behaving badly because of one of these feelings.
 
So we may need to take a step back
- and a deep breath -
and listen a little longer...
 
...or simply do everything in our power to make bedtime happen on time.
 
Open.  
Stay open to assume the best.  
 
This, I have to say is my biggest struggle when I'm upset already.  
 
It's way too easy to project a negative intent from someone close to us like...say, our spouse.  
 
It's so important - and much more productive - to believe the best was meant.  
 
V-V
Visualize.  
Visualize what you want the relationship to become.  
 
The feeling of it.  
 
Strong. Reliable. Trustworthy.  
 
It's easier for me to build our relationship when I'm working from a place of knowing what I want it to become.
 
Vulnerable.  
Brene Brown teaches (and I'm paraphrasing here...)
 
If we want a relationship to grow and deepen and be enriched - we must have the courage to be vulnerable.  
 
To show our true self.  
 
You know, the one that's terrified of being rejected or mocked.  
 
That one.
 
E-E
Eye contact.  
Eye contact communicates with no words and says,
 
"I see you."  
(Remember the movie Avatar?)
 
Eye contact says,
"I see you and you matter to me."
 
Evermore.  
Everafter.
 
Rinse and repeat.  
 
Sometimes all within the same conversation.
 
If I can keep my mind and my intent in doubling the love in my communication...
 
It just keeps the peace.
 
And keeps my brain and reactions in the best place in building my goal toward a stronger family and stronger relationships.
 
Now obviously this isn't a be-all, end-all on the topic of communication.
 
In fact, there are fields and fields of careers in this area.
 
Some of my favorite experts to read and follow are...
 
Brene Brown
John M Gottman
Julie Schwartz Gottman
Daniel Siegel
Kevin Leman
Chip and Dan Heath
 
And the list goes on...
 
Communication is an ongoing study and practice that I've fallen in love with.
 
This is a living breathing life of ours, ya know? 
 
I've taken the notes for you for this lesson.  
 
And I've created a pdf for you to download so you can print it and put it on the wall or the fridge or inside a cupboard for you to review.
 
To get your hands on it, click the button below and let me know where to send them.  
 
I'm continually researching, studying and writing lessons and I would love to keep in touch.
 

I've taken the notes for you...  

...and created a printout, so you can  print and put on the wall.  If you're like me, it's helpful to have it where I can be reminded while I learn.Who was is that said,
"Learning is remembering.  
Remembering is learning."